Here I am brimming with deadlines and papers to check yet writing my thoughts doesn’t seem to hamper all these things that I am expected to do and deliver…
I was actually checking the papers of my Analog kids when these beautiful thoughts hit me…actually I only remembered two men (Green and Blue) but I don’t want to be writing about binaries so decided to think of one more man to complete my inseparable trinity… here goes…
I have been whining in my past blog so here’s one to color my dark soliloquy even more…
Lately, three actualized, gorgeous and lovely men fill my head these days, night and day…especially in my most unguarded moment... I’ll name them using colors so as to make my whole story vivid. The first one is Red, and then there’s Blue and my all-time favorite Green. I call him Red ‘cause that’s how I lovingly call him in my thoughts or even in person. I call the next one Blue. Why? Because according to him he liked waves, waves, waves and waves…hehehehe… (this is a dead give-away, hope he doesn’t get to read this blog of mine). And the last but definitely not the least is Green I call him this ‘cause he is a close friend, very close to me, in fact… and THAT is quite tempting!!! Yummy! I remember my Humanities teacher in UP told me that green is the color of temptation! Not to mention green is among his favorite colors…(I read this in the survey posted in the Bulletin, blue and green right friend?)
Okay before we go any further, I’d like to clarify something, I wrote this blog not because I want to lure them to me or land them or for me to become the most important girl in their lives…uh uh…not so. I wrote this for the sheer fascination of writing their similarities and contrasts, and for me to get even ‘cause they do fill me head instantly at any given time and place! Sweeping me off my sanity, reason and disposition. Wrote this with the hopes that those who get to read this, will keep on thinking about them ‘til these three pretty men all have troubled sleeps…payback time!
So with that cleared, let’s continue…
Parallelism…
These three sport a medium-built height, with “semi-kayumanggi” complexions, they all have captivating eyes that smile every time they smile. They are all hardworking and passionate with their crafts and line of work, that made them all a good catch to girls! All of them are actualized men, with steady jobs and normal set of friends, I believe. They have normal hobbies men would often indulge in. All of them are pensive, quiet and shy. At times, I do get to overpower them too, since I talk way too much even when I’m with them! Probably why I liked them ‘cause they’re exactly my opposites. These three men also share two to-die-for traits and that is being perfect gentlemen and being “mabait” to girls. They are also well-dressed and wouldn’t be caught looking bad in their “car-crash” get up. They know how to do color harmony in dressing up, they all smell pretty nice and they all look good. When caught in the middle of a crowd, they all have the same shared characteristic, and that is to pass the throng of people, unnoticed and unheard of. In a crowd, they all will keep their silence but will definitely observe the people with unabated interest. They are charming. Clean-cut. Brainy. Passionate. And darn good-looking!
Contrast…
Red is married. Into a technical job. An engineer to be exact. And way off my wavelength for I don’t know if I would still get to see him, especially now that I don’t have them for a class already... yes! He was a former student. One of my older students. So necessarily he is off limits. His having a wife automatically eliminates him from the list of my “most wanted men”. He is very serious, pensive and contemplative of the things that happen around him. Highly attentive. Observant and thoughtful. He wouldn’t miss a thing in a crowd. He is shy but would NEVER EVER forget to smile at me whenever he would see me. He is into sci-fi and reading. And he comes into my mind every now and then for the simple reason that I have such high regard for him, his personality and his disposition. Too bad his married. Back off Ruby.
We move on…
Blue. Is happily committed with his girlfriend for years. In fact this commitment made their relationship last until now despite it being a long distance one. I happen to have a contact with him but he seems so miles away for he is into his girlfriend talaga. He is mighty faithful, as his friends describe him. And I rarely see him, ‘cept in some parties of our mutual friends. Loves the ocean. Surfs. Skimboards. He looks like my Green but Green is more simpatiko. He maintains a specific circle of friends, so there’s no way I can penetrate his crowd and don’t have ways of getting to know him better. Besides he’s got a girlfriend, I don’t feel like grabbing him from her. Nah. He’s too off limits. Why I think of him lately? ‘Cause he reminds me so much of Andrew’s mystery. He seemed too be so damn distant and so unreachable that he continuously poses a challenge to my head, as to how I will get to be close to him even as a friend. And boy, I love challenges. It’s been months of contemplating on ways to get him to talk, but damn! He is too shy. Every time I am around he would clam up on me. Hay naku kapagod ha?! Ergo, I give up! We are friends or better yet, acquaintance, that’s all. Yoko attempt ng iba pa. I hear much about him from our common friends and I bet he hears much about me through them as well so let’s just stop there. Fin. No need for me to complicate our current set up. Still, if he wants someone to break his silence with, he knows where to find me, he got my number eh. But I doubt he will ‘cause I bet his girl wouldn’t want that! What the heck! Live it as is, Ruby. Back off girl. There will be many fish…even in his ocean full of waves!
Alright! Let’s try the next door…
Green. My oh my…do I have to talk about him when I have already talked about my love story in my former blog? Okay, for the benefit of those who haven’t read the other blog…here goes. Green, my Green... He is one heck of a person I would always love to love. In fact, I have long decided to love him unconditionally, that was like 6 years, 1 month and 1 week as of to day. He is a loving person. He is quite brainy. Very sensical. Can carry a decent conversation just like Red. Unlike Blue, Green and I can talk about almost anything under the heat of the sun. In fact, that’s the reason why we became friends instantly the night we met. He is shy but knows when to drop a line or two and knows how to sustain great conversations. He is into RnB, movies and a tennis champ at that. He has a lot of love to give but just haven’t found one to give it to. Why I think of him often lately? ‘Cause he is now moving on and recovering from a heartbreak so he is quite fragile…sad pa konti and I’m way too far to offer my shoulders to cry on and hear him out. He is not yet ready to fall in love and I wouldn’t want him to with me either, for I feel it would make matters worse. Our being close friends is one of the great reasons why I cannot (no matter how much and deeply I love him) expect more than what he can offer, now or in the future, maybe. He sees me as a friend and that’s what I am offering to him now. No more, no less. I love him though. That is always a given. I think nobody can ever make me forget that, ever. Not even my mom. Or even when I’m married na.But I guess he needs me as friend than as someone “more than a friend”. So here’s me, offering one hell of a pure and unadulterated friendship. No buts. No ifs. No conditions. No ulterior motives. Just love. Friendship. Company. Great conversations. Probably a cup of coffee every so now and then with a touch of soothing music to go with it. Unlike with Red and Blue I am not backing off with my Green. Nah…not leaving Green, no way. I’ll just be around. Constantly guiding. Frequently texting. Always checking. Mangungulit. And if need be forever catching…him from the fall… ‘cause that’s what friends are for, right friend?
So where does that leave me with these men? Here! In my own world. Alone yet happy. Plenty of yearnings and dreams to achieve but contented just the same. Men or no men, my life will still be gaudy just the same. These men…well, they will be there to add more colors to my happy world. I think of them. Yes, at times more often than I should but it doesn’t mean that I must and should swoon, drool and go gaga over them ‘cause even if I, somehow, wanted more than what they all can offer, I still have to do reality check constantly and accept that sometimes really, things don’t go your way…because they just don’t. Period. However, don’t you think it is a bit nicer to fill your days with thoughts of “colors”, every so now and then, to avoid monotony and boredom? Well, for me, you don’t have to go overboard, excessive colors will also mess up your life’s perfect picture, you know…
So, moving on…
Ay! Have to go…got to fill out another “most wanted men” list. Who knows the next color may just blend well with me. Dontcha think so?
Hmm… done with colors…why not nicknames? Mmmm… #1. Juan Bahag… #2. Anime Geek… #3. Money Counter… #4. Mr. Radio Man
The list continues in the next blog…
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