what makes me sad lately and what brought tears to my eyes recently...

Manoy, Lady, Martha & Rafael,

my smile, my cheerful disposition, my positive outlook, and yes, even the comforting presence of my Mom, cannot ever erase the pain i am in now...

i'm in pain cause my Kuya and his family left for Sidney, Australia for good...

you must understand where this pain is coming from...

i intentionally didn't go to the airport for the send off last saturday for fear of making a fool out of myself. i sucked at saying goodbyes...

i didn't want them to see that it's causing me so much pain to see them go for i know they could have a better life there. i don't want them to carry my tears and sadness in their hearts and mind as they try to tread a new and untrodden path there in Australia.

i'll be missing my niece and nephew terribly. sobra. no amount of words could ever describe the loneliness i feel on this thought. Martha and Rafael are the children I will love to have for myself in the future. i love them soooooooooo much! it hurts!

i'll miss my sister-in-law, we may have our own share of disagreements, normal beings as we are, but i love her as well. miss ko kaw leds! i will miss our talks...by the gate and during meals whenever i go and visit their place. i'll miss calaca! =)

but most of all it pains me to think that i lost my "shining star" to the better and greener pasture that australia can offer.

yes, for years, without my Manoy knowing it, he was and still my shining star! that's why i follow him around, manipulate him to giving me my whims and caprices, stupidly quarreling with him so he could see that all i want is his attention --- and that's why i try to do better each time, in this journey i call life. you have been my guiding star! my one great influence and my one true knight in shining armor and rescuer amidst this stifling and cruel world. All i want is a KUYA like him forever!

he is one great brother i would always love to follow and see as a great example! my very own role model who most people will turn green with envy of not having for themselves...

i will be forever proud of being the "dabz" he has grown accustomed to protecting and shielding...

hats off to your courage of uprooting your family from the very plush and comfortable lifestyle they have here, just to seek other alternatives that will give them better a life in the future!
indeed you are my star!

Noy, love you very much...beyond words, time, space and distance.
take care there...wait for me? hehehe...

lovelots always and forever,
dabz

p.s.
Manoy, kung di mo makaya...uwi ka lang ha? dito lang kami...

dabz pa rin

originally published in my Friendster account October 3, 2007